Most of us when we see someone of
extraordinary capability or someone who seems to have super human capacity to
deal with life’s challenges, think things like, “They are so lucky!”, “They are so talented!”, “They must have been
born that way.” But in reality, the human brain has the capacity to produce
answers faster than the “smartest” computer on earth. True, this five kilograms
lump of gray matter can give you more firepower instantly for coming up with
solutions to challenges and creating powerful emotional sensations than
anything in this ever evolving world of man created technologies.
Just like a computers have
tremendous capacity, without an understanding of how to retrieve and utilize
all that’s been stored, the brain capacity means nothing. If you want access to
the files of valuable information in a computer, you must understand how to
retrieve the data by asking for it with the proper commands. Likewise, what
enables you to get anything you want from your own personal data-banks is the
commanding power of asking questions.
The difference between people is
the difference in the questions they ask consistently. Some people are
depressed on a regular basis. They conduct their lives with limited movements,
but more importantly they focus on the things that make them feel overloaded
and overwhelmed. Their pattern of focus and evaluation seriously limits their
emotional experience of life. When people are depressed, it is more likely due
to asking themselves dis-empowering questions on a regular basis, questions like
“What’s the use ?”, “Why even try , this never seems to work out anyway?”, “God
– Why me, what have I done to deserve this ?” Remember, ask and you shall
receive. If you ask a terrible question, you will get a terrible answer. Your
mental computer is ever ready to serve you, and whatever questions you give it,
it will surely come up with an answer. So if you ask, “Why can’t I ever
succeed?” it will come up with answers like “Because you are stupid,” or
“Because you don’t deserve to do well anyway”.
Questions determine everything
you do in life, from your abilities to your relationship to your income. For
example, many people fail to commit to relationship simply because they keep
asking questions that create doubt: “What if there’s somebody better out there?
What if I commit myself now and miss out?” These are terribly dis-empowering
questions! This fuels the fear that the grass is always greener on the other
side of the fence, and it keeps you from being able to enjoy what you already
have in your own life.
Think of the questions you
habitually ask yourself in any area of your life. Invariably, if a person is
not doing well in that area, it is because the questions he asks are creating a
great deal of fear within him – the fear that keeps him away from taking any
action which would lead to a path of success. We all have a capacity to
evaluate life at a level that produces outstanding results. To change your life
for the better, you must change your habitual questions. Remember the pattern
of questions you consistently ask will create either pain or enjoyment, misery
or magic. Ask the questions that will uplift your spirit and push you along the
path of human excellence.
How questions work ?
1. Questions
immediately change what we are focusing on and therefore how we feel: If you keep asking questions like “How come I
am so depressed?” or “Why doesn’t anybody like me?” you will focus on and look
for , and find references to back up the idea that there is a reason for you to
feel depressed and unloved. As a result you will stay in those depressing
state. If instead you ask, “How can I change my state so that I am feeling happy
and am being more lovable?” you will focus on the solution. Even if your brain
initially responds, “there’s nothing I can do,” but if you persist with a sense
of certainty and expectation in spite of it all, eventually you will get the
answer you need and deserve. You will come up with authentic reasons for
feeling better and as you focus on them, your emotional state will immediately
follow suit. Instead of just lifting you up, questions provide you with actual
reasons to feel the emotion. Anyone can change how he feels in an instant just
by changing his focus. By failing to consciously control the habitual questions
we ask, we severely limit our emotional range and thus our ability to utilize
the resources at hand. Get leverage: ask yourself, “If I don’t change this now,
what is the ultimate price ?” and “how will my whole life be transformed if I
did this right now?” interrupt the pattern, create a new, empowering
alternative with a better set of questions; and then condition them by
practicing them until they become a consistent part of your life.
Ask yourself some
empowering questions right now. What are you truly happy about in your life
right now? What’s really great in your life today? What are you truly grateful
for? Take a moment to think about the answers and notice how good it feels to
know that you have genuine reasons for you to feel great now.
2. Questions
change what we delete: Human being are marvelous deletion creatures. We have do
many million things going around us that we can focus on right now, however we
can consciously focus on only a small number of things simultaneously. So the
brain spends a lot of its time trying to prioritize what to pay attention to
and more importantly what not to pay attention to or what to “delete”. For
example, if you are feeling really sad, there is only one reason: it is because
you are deleting all the reasons you could be feeling good and conversely if
you are feeling good, it is because you are deleting all the bad things you
could be focusing on. So when you ask someone a question, you change what they
are focusing on and what they are deleting. If someone asks you , “Are you
frustrated as I am with this project?”, even if you are not frustrated, you
will begin to focus on what you were deleting previously and you may start to
feel bad too. Similarly, if you are asked “what is really great in your life?”
and you keep focusing on the answer, you might find yourself excellent
immediately. Questions are the laser of human consciousness. They concentrate
our focus and determine what we feel and do.
3. Questions
change the resources available to us: In the realms of business as well as
personal life questions do open up new worlds and gives us access to resources
we might not otherwise realize we have available. Learning to consciously
control the questions you ask will take you further to achieving your ultimate
destiny than almost anything you know. Often our resources are limited only by
the questions we ask ourselves. One
important thing to remember is that our beliefs affect the questions we will
even consider. Many people would never have asked the question because everyone
around them had told them it was impossible. They would feel it was a waste of
their time and energy. Be careful not to ask limited questions, or you will
receive limited answers. The only thing that limits your questions is your
belief about what is possible. If you continue to ask any question, you will
receive an answer. All we need to do is to create a better question and we will
get a better answer.
Suggestions on problem solving
questions:
All of us know
that no matter what we are involved with in our lives, there are going to be
times when we come up against these things we call “problems”: the roadblocks
to personal and professional progress. Every person, no matter what state of
life they have achieved, has to deal with these special gifts. The question is not whether you are going to
have problems, but how you are going to deal with them when they come up. We
all need a systematic way to deal with challenges. It is essential to develop a
pattern of consistent questions that empower you. These are five suggested
problem solving questions which you may find useful to get out of such
situation:
a.
What is great about the problem?
b.
What is not perfect yet?
c.
What am I willing to do to make it the way I
want it?
d.
What am I willing to no longer do in order to
make it the way I want it?
e.
How can I enjoy the process while I do what is
necessary to make it the way I want it?
By having the list of these five questions in front of you on a regular basis, you have a pattern of how to deal with problems that will instantly change your focus and give you access to the resources you need.
Every morning, when we wake up,
we ask ourselves questions. When the alarm goes off, what question do we ask
ourselves? Is it, “How come I have to get up right now?” “Why aren’t there more
hours in the day?” “What if I hit the snooze alarm just one more time?” and as
you get in the shower, what are you asking yourself? “Why do I have to go to
work?” “How bad is the traffic going to be today?”, “What kind of stuff is
going to be dumped on my desk today?” What if every day you consciously started
asking a pattern of questions that would put you in the right frame of mind and
that caused you to remember how grateful, happy and excited you are? What kind
of day do you think you would have with those positive emotional states as your
pattern? Obviously it would affect how you feel about virtually everything.
There are certain emotions we all need to cultivate in order to be happy and
successful individuals. Otherwise, you could be winning and feel like you are
losing, if you do not keep measuring and take the time to feel how fortunate
you are.
If you really want to create a
shift in your life, make this a part of your daily ritual. By consistently
asking these questions you will find that you access your most empowering
emotional states on a regular basis, and you will begin to create the highways
to these emotions of happiness, excitement, pride, gratitude, joy, commitment
and love. Very soon, you will find that when you open your eyes, these
questions will fire off immediately just out of habit, and you will have
trained yourself to ask the kind of questions that will empower you to
experience greater richness in life.
Source: Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins.
Pictures : From Robin Sharma
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